Downs and Ups

So I've forgotten to post for two weeks. First week back on plan was awesome. I stuck to my guns, drank TONS of water and ended up losing 7.2 lbs (190.4)! WooT! Well, that didn't last too long. The second week didn't go as well. I had up and down days of sticking to the plan which showed at the weigh in. I gained back 2.2 lbs, weighing in at 192.6. This week I'm back on plan. I've had several temptations and I keep telling myself NO. It hasn't been completely perfect as I've probably had a little extra approved snacks, but I'm getting better. I hate that this is a struggle for me! It's a daily battle that I have to prepare for every morning. If I don't mentally get myself ready to say NO or stay away, I'll cave. I need to lose this weight for me. I'm tired of the tight clothes and looking at the clothes I can't wear anymore cuz I gained it back. I want my closet back!!!

Two things I've joined to help keep me more on track. My coach has started a biggest loser contest. Every day we have to record if we were on program, the amount of water drank, and if we exercised. I absolutely HATE losing in any contest so this is helping. I don't want to put a zero down for anything! The other thing is Live Healthy Texas contest. You enter your weight and exercise and compete with others. I want to win that too. TJ is on my team, but the more the merrier!! Let me know if you want me to add you to our team! It's only $20 :).

The other big news is that I now have a full-time job. The school I have subbed at for about 4 years, added another aid position to their resource room. They asked me to fill it! I love it!! I've been there one week and will be there to the end of the year (except the one week I had a vacation planned). I'm excited for the opportunity to help the children we see :). They have all been welcoming and I now feel official as everything is all set up. This weekend I need to go find some organization things to take with me and stuff to put on the wall behind me! I love it!! (I think I said that once, but hey it's true!!!)

Now we're praying that this becomes a permanent job next year and not just a temporary position they have. We are also hoping to see the Lord open some doors for TJ to find a new job in his field. While Frito-Lay has been good to us, he would like to be able to find a job where he can use his passion for training and developing (he's really, really good at it!!). Also praying for my step-dad Mike, and my sister-in-law Laura to find a job that they will really enjoy and provide for their families! So far 2012 has been an amazing year for us, just praying other things that have been a challenge come together (having issues with worker's comp....TJ had surgery the beginning of January).

Until next time.....God Is Good.....All The TIME!

Here we go again....

Alright, truth time. I haven't posted in sooooo long, but I think that was partly that I didn't want to admit to myself what was really going on in my head. I've been struggling on and off. Some days are fine and I don't think about the miscarriage, other days I have a really hard time. Now we are nearing when the baby was due and I've had to have a reality check with myself. The past month though God keeps giving me little hints to maybe part of the why-- 1) TJ had shoulder surgery. Workers comp is making things difficult and he's not getting paid either. We have to fight that. He should get some short-term disability soon, but ugh. He also wouldn't be able to hold a baby very well cuz only one arm is usable at this point. 2) There is a possible job opportunity for me. I can't talk much about it, but afraid I wouldn't be considered (even though it's illegal), had I been 8 months pregnant and going to take at least 6 weeks off.

Unfortunately through the ups and downs, I have gained back pretty much what I had taken off last year. So, I'm back to square one. TJ and I started back on plan last Thursday, so weigh day is tomorrow. We have been supporting one another, taking walks, challenging each other with drinking water, and connected to a large support group (which is awesome!). This time the weight is coming off for good. I will not sabotage myself. We do plan to still try to start a family but this time I'm not doing the "I think I might be pregnant so I should add some extra stuff in case I am". It's 100% OP until I get that positive....then it's slowly adding what I need for the baby. It's about me being healthy!!!

My plan is to update the blog at least once a week on weigh days. Hopefully I get better at blogging!!!!