Alright, truth time. I haven't posted in sooooo long, but I think that was partly that I didn't want to admit to myself what was really going on in my head. I've been struggling on and off. Some days are fine and I don't think about the miscarriage, other days I have a really hard time. Now we are nearing when the baby was due and I've had to have a reality check with myself. The past month though God keeps giving me little hints to maybe part of the why-- 1) TJ had shoulder surgery. Workers comp is making things difficult and he's not getting paid either. We have to fight that. He should get some short-term disability soon, but ugh. He also wouldn't be able to hold a baby very well cuz only one arm is usable at this point. 2) There is a possible job opportunity for me. I can't talk much about it, but afraid I wouldn't be considered (even though it's illegal), had I been 8 months pregnant and going to take at least 6 weeks off.
Unfortunately through the ups and downs, I have gained back pretty much what I had taken off last year. So, I'm back to square one. TJ and I started back on plan last Thursday, so weigh day is tomorrow. We have been supporting one another, taking walks, challenging each other with drinking water, and connected to a large support group (which is awesome!). This time the weight is coming off for good. I will not sabotage myself. We do plan to still try to start a family but this time I'm not doing the "I think I might be pregnant so I should add some extra stuff in case I am". It's 100% OP until I get that positive....then it's slowly adding what I need for the baby. It's about me being healthy!!!
My plan is to update the blog at least once a week on weigh days. Hopefully I get better at blogging!!!!
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